crying spells

i get them at random inappropriate times... usually on my way to work actually. when people surround me on the train. i see them of all ages. strangers. all of them probably having dealt with each of their own hardships. up until recently i had barely dealt with any myself, and still i know i havent even begun to deal with the full punch of mine. my mom is dieing and its not a painless one. its full of pain. and i naively want her to "give up" and try to feel herself again before its all over for her. its naive and i have no comprehension of what she is feeling and have no right to want her to just accept whats happening. i am her naive child that doesnt want her to hurt anymore. shes so tired.