happy birthday mom

She would have have been 70 years old today.

I've felt guilty before for not missing her as much as I should have. My pain had been felt more in the pain she felt in her last days. No one deserves that pain. Death is ugly and movies lie.

I want her in my future. In my happiness. I will yearn her meeting my true love and children.

Happy birthday mom, I don't miss u, I just wish you were here.

simple pleasures and pleasant surprises

these used to come easy.
and the truth is, they still do.

the thing is, i forgot.
i forgot to see them, to find them, to look for them.
i got distracted with things.
intangible things, that i can't even pinpoint anymore.
an accumulation of naivety and youth i suppose.
they crept up on me and i forgot to see simplicity.

then real things happened. one person left. another died.
truths were exposed and i have been forced to look again
slowly but surely, with new eyes, im beginning to see again.

current anthem