"favorite"

The question was asked. What's your ALL-TIME favorite book. "Wait Till Helen Comes" i responded.
The word "favorite" is very unfair to time and personal growth.

The Chat Room

cont'd...
The realization that I had a way with words was probably a far cry from the truth. I had a way with seduction and flattery. Something I was always aware I had.
My intelligence was only enough to know that dispencability was the name of the game and that these personalities were shallow, temporary and most importantly facades.

Not to be mistaken, I did recognize these were real people, with real lives, with real emotions. But this was not that kind of place.

"fuck fest for the weak minded", I would tell myself a few times. But like the self loathing junkie I persisted, determined that I'd find that intelligent-humorous-laced hit again.

They came long and far between and boredom consumed me quickly.

The Life and Death of a Cyber Junkie

Part One:
I got my first laptop in 2004, for school, and i went to school year round back then...Fall, Summer, Spring , even some Winters. In addition to working full time, the idea of sitting in front of a computer for "pleasure" was alien to me.
As evidence to when my cyber-chic(ness) began, I cite the birth of Susandia. My boredom and loneliness hit in the summer of 96'.

It started simultaneously in a yahoo "art-related" chatroom about some 3d modeling techniques. A few hours, or a few days (who knows?), drunk and horny, i found myself in a flirty chatroom, reading peoples antics, laughing, smiling, curious i kept reading.

A wall flower, i persisted in keeping quiet, until the liquid courage blurted out a witty comment, and i met Sycophant. He appreciated my humor.

Later, he'd learn to appreciate much more.

TBC

Project: Tapping Foot

I'd lose my mind on repeat without them.

those translations of iterations of cliches that make it to my chorus seem to be multiplying....exponentially nagging me.
followed by the girl who cried "stop"
proceeded by the me who did not

i think i've written this before

chorus

relief.. "den---ied"

send me a song
a request by banded stroke
sent by folded note
a whisper makes the blush go red
taken by the girl instead

sink
cover
and roll...
the bell is almost rung.

sometimes

it's the sketchy walk on a lonely block
the insecurities after watching that green grass
the kind that grows brighter on the other side.
that which makes you take a breath and examine
...
...
...
then an old friend showers you with her familiar sunshine
and
it all makes sense again.
cheers to her... a true love indeed.

Contagious

summer is yelling "last call"
So it seems.
And Minutes of rain last for hours.
Trecherous hours
Every drop, a nuisance
Drop
Drop
Mutha Fuckin DROP
..
..
..
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

heatwave

I'm being drugged by summers air it seems.
Silently, it lifts my skirt, grazing my inner thigh.
Such a soothing passerby, a temporary cure.
wickedly reminding me that my heat is not skin deep.

sunshine

When all else fails, reap the sunshine :)

Tiny things

"You're gonna kill it!"

She yelled at the eager boy who was grasping at the plastic 'habitat'.

"STOP!", she tugged.

The tiny turtle was being swooshed about its tiny world. Peeking out its soft shell, all but the boy underestimated its fragility.

knick-knacks +++

HOME CATALOGUE IMAGE 003

1. precious moments: given to me with a student bible from the mormon, Laurie, who later I dropped acid with.
2. flower boy: gift from sister, who was gratfeul for my copy of Conversations With God
3. small smoking device for tobacco:) recent addition from 1st Ave. shop in NYC.
4. Monkey: Won by Todd with a claw machine thing.
5. Fritz the "Speedy" Frog: First gift from Todd. I was so naive to the relevance. :)
6. Butane: for a lighter I lost
7. stone kitty: gift from brother's hliday.

Taker

MORAL IMAGINATON:
sunny reading by David Bromwich
morality and imagination have something to do with eachother, and both have something to do with the power of human sympathy. Most people would grant that much. Difficulty comes when we try to decide how and where to bring morality and imagination together. ...Morality, we say, is concerned with the real and its objects are actual. Imagination conjures fiction and its objects are, at most, probable: we could believe them real in a world that otherwise resembled our own.

AMOEBA: body without organs
The term ‘body-without-organs’ is borrowed from Artaud to suggest the ‘true’ condition of the human body if freed from the punishments of a repressive God. Deleuze and Guattari remap the fixed biological body as a dynamic force field of speeds and intensities, ‘traversed by a powerful, nonorganic vitality’ which includes the mind. The body-without-organs is ‘affective, intensive, anarchist’ in nature. Like the AMOEBA, it is open to surrounding matter, which it incorporates.

brought to you by mirame, aka mirasol, aka blood_bunny, aka BloodsBunny, aka bunny_cakes, aka claramante, aka mirame xue, who solely follow(ed) the structural set known as Id.

sunshine for breakfast...

with a cup of coffee on the side.

Very nice when all that stands between skin and sun is a hair-tie and a bracelet. My first hamptons getaway. :)

archi-rant

I don't talk about architecture too often here, eventhough it takes up most of my days and all of my reading efforts. (i do need to broaden my horizon with literature and current event reading)

In designing a recent "concept" project it proved apparent that many architects forget about the neccessary handrail. And when i say.. "oh look, we can raise this wall here to make a bench that acts like a rail" or "peel the wall or floor here to make a fluid handrail" .. i get this roll-of-the-eyes-look.

really? that's the best almighty FOA could do? Link

hehe.. always a critic :)

happy [late] anniversary darling

My sweet Susandia.
The date slipped by me.
If things go the way I planned we have one more year together... so let's paint the town red with....

Watermelon & Tomato Salad
4 cups watermelon cut in large dice
4 cups tomatoes cut in large dice
1 cup red onion, thin sliced
1 jalapeno, minced (maybe 2 :))
1/3 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 tablespoons balsamic vinegar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
Pepper, chili/cayenne powder to taste

mmmmmm

-it's healthy

hands off my fragile wrists

I stand the ground I make
the ground I shake
the ground I break

my flag, my territory
slaved and claimed
by my wilted fingertips

it's mine to keep

the end is near, if not here already

the 6th sense approximation
it has a way with words in me
letters slowly show on the marquee
puzzled together as they float by
revealing its skin under the smokey bath water
drops forming the names, the things
that will wash away in due time

tennis date :)

blue skies, green eyes and golden hair. lime green puma gear strutting out a beat up F150, how could i forget?

half-heart healthy

Cheers to beautiful nyc lunches.

the x bomb!

tap tap and tap
my foot hangs from the seat to bar down under..
... tap
... tap
... tap
the repetative motion, the repetative thought, the repetative sound
at my head
at my foot
at my stomache
the addiction preys on me at the incremental second
with every orchestrated word that hangs
at my lips
at my fingertips
at my lashes
the addiction that strums each chord
over
and over
and over again.

East Village Litter Trials

Two weeks ago: The cardboard litter box was hanged with a wire hanger from the basement water pipe. The sign attached read "THIS DOES NOT GO WITH THE PLASTICS!!!". It was a statement, a revolution by Denis The Trash Sorter.

Yesterday: Denis's friend, Mark (who I now rumor as lovers) sent out the monthly STOOP SCOOP newsletter. Amongst the pleasantries and birthday reminders, a note at the end read: "Will the owner of the cat litter box please make yourself known to Denis".

Today: Every cat owner recieved a hand written note. Ours read:
S & T,
Do you use "FRESH STEP" cat litter?
___ YES
___ NO
Please return to Denis in apt ##.
...

Clearly, my answer is no, but I SOOO wanted to check yes.

fill my current niche

In adapting, animals fill niches as a survival mechanism. Thier habitat is compromised, so habits, even physiological attributes are modified. The smaller creature grows a bit to eat the larger insects that his "neighbor's" growing population hasn't monopolized.
And so it is. that we fill a niche. If even for a moment for different things and different people.

Just leave me your residue please.
I'm collecting.

"fuck all yall" pre-party prep

I listen to his preaching
"scraping through my head till I don't want to sleep anymore."
his chords, his lips, his brows
dark and brilliantally painted

"this thing is slowly taking me apart"
letting it fall like the towel around me

"just a fading fucking reminder of who i used to be"
my mouth mouths.. rising.. breathing.. leaving.

oh, little girl....

stroke me with your lies
bathe me with milken honey
I feel the everything...
heavy drop drips at my navel
thickened layered covered lips
a trembled finger strums
bends and crooks
to a beat of the bass that rolls and pounds and sounds to the fuery of the crazed thoughts that plummet to the ends of the light that seem to pierce the other side of my brain.....disbelief in perfection itself as it lands upon me.

indefinately

The verdict is in, one more year, at least!

3am rendezvous

with my coolest cat. alone.
the midnight stroll
the late night excursion
a ten year habit not worth breaking

Our anniversary is on thursday.
Ten Years.

Cheers to My Todd.

Cheers to us.

we's a creative bunch

A friend, marissa, has finally put up a site for her [Jewelry Line].
check it out and support my peoples! I'll remember to sport my summer tan necklace soon! :)

manic moments

call for manic "shake and shift"

Fiona Apple - New Music - More Music Videos

it's been written about before...

in a sophomore English class titled "alive".
The Mustang's wheels cycled at the road from Austin's cross country meet. An end of a winning season, in more ways than one.
My smile radiated to a gleam as Billy C. began "Today". Legs unfolded as Jesse watched me sit at the car's open window. gripped by an ankle and pushed by the wind I took a deep Texas breath and sang...
..
..
..
It was the day I knew that I'd be happy forever.
..with or without him.

revelations II ... the sequel

seems the month of May is my highly instinctive month.

Revelations
they happen.
awakenings...my happy awakenings.
im leaving for a bit.