title: under debate

so...
look up to see her, like she told me to
the draw/erase board clean except for:
1.(a blank)
2. (a blank)
3. .....
10.(a blank)

SO!
my fingers cringe at the marker
the weight of decision
1...1...1...1...

sounds fall away to that silky curtain
smells sink passed those landfilled rainbows
visions curling with my toes, dissappearing under me
feeling the epipheny of self loathing rise

-watermelon is super tasty outside

Visual Currency Introduction

i can repeat the same song for hours...happily
the same CD... same youtube video. same movie. same anything.

easily amused? indeed.

enjoy...

pump it, roll it, let me hear you burn it

who was i kidding?
pfft!

lets go over this again

actually let's not

the iterations are bland and cliched to the point of exhaustion.

pointless entry 003

date..26th
time..09:32
black tights..number 6
book: 1000 years of non linear history
blog ID...652997714146674

I recall in Abstract Algebra:
numbers are a part of a field of the nothing my professor said
1 does not equal 1, but it equals zero..somethign about limitis and zeros
i dont remember..its in my notes somehere

all i remember:
new sequences of mathmatical symbols to prove it, and having a fraction of second of clarity. followed by another fraction of confusion...then another of frustration...then another of determination...then another of anger...then again...determination...there over and over and over...a whole semester.

numbers...a field of the nothing

snap... without the exclamation

well the main ingredient being
dark mollasses...and of course
ginger, cinammon and clove.

kneed it, rest it, cut it, gone

special occasions

the thing is that becuase its christmas
I should write about something
"christmassy?
which is:
not what its like
not what it is
not what it feels like
IT IS a morning
and a day
then a night
same as the day before
and still the day after.

:)))

Noone is cooler than him
nothing fresher
nothing sweeter
nothing more mine, than him
my mr.mine

i said I DO for a reason
millions of them..
ok, thousands

-watermelon tastes better off his lips

euphonic defintions render mariposa

we collide into a curtain sanctum
where worm holes are beautiful
and our mouths humidity soothing

the weakness crumbling up inside
rising and roaring to the thumping
to strangers' shoulders and hips

the soft recesses glowing
enhancing the folds of velvet
that sink at 3 frames per year

a season that statued you
the next that offered you
recently exposing you

red phosphorus

its one of the ingredients in the crystal meth cocktail.
and it was our daily toke...breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

my sweet smile as he ducks under the fence into the mud
my black jeans kneed to the earth, following his
the patchy greens emerging to conrete pounded dirt
crouching up with our gaze of purity and delight
mouthing the words i love you
his fingers silently curl to mine, guiding me
hugging walls and sleeping guards

is that it? exposed? unlocked?
it's red.
scitter...SCATTER...SCORE!

fuck you! tantrum

ah here it is...
typical who gives a shit rant!
do you?
i don't
surprised?
ur not
i'm not either

recal the first?
the second?
now the third?
you can't
i can't either

shifts in her seat
the uncomfort of forgetting so quickly
the dissappointmet of it all

kneels to the floor, head dropped,
picking at the bloody splinters
looking at his young face
her imaginary friend
welted eyes

bugga'

An interesting experience (on my part only, im sure) invloving a train, a big guy, and a stranger:
Big Guy wanted to sit but the empty seat between me and Stranger was too narrow. so i scooted my ass a bit off the seat and Stranger pressed himself the opposite direction... No eye contact was made, ever, even as the Big Guy kinda mumbled a thanks as he sat. I made no eye contact when i nodded the "no problem".
I was dissapointed in myself: i didnt look at him in the eye with a smile, making at least the smallest effort to show i am in good cheer, to share it.
Looking over, Big Guy had the fullest curliest gray hair. Holding a cup of coffee; his nails were nicely manicured...Didnt fit Big Guy really.
My stop. I smiled when i said excuse me.
He spills a drop of coffee on my shoe...BUGGA! sorry.
I smile...eye contact..a "no problem" nod.

winter harem

time folds ten-fold here
flavors of the week,
last 2, but not 3
thigh highs never fall
and hair never grows,
its attached.
i like it

-watermelons taste better and they glow

candy man paul

I have a friend who makes chocolate.
buy it!
http://www.chocolatsmeurens.com/
I've had a sample of most...the limoncello and pistachio chocolate made me squirm. :)

between 2 notes

strings curling at my biting teeth
as splinters pierce my gripping nails
perfectly displayed in guilt for you
your strumming burning my veins

relieve me... addict me
throw it out...that violin

red rover red rover

mirame bien

species

you'd think the girls would stick
but then
your Thai Beef Salad comes with no rice
so What The Fuck Do I Do Now NOW?
...
girls are flaky....

stranger

as if you had no choice?
deny those feelings?!?!
those feelings that make you feel proud of me
miss ur train....no?
a minute
...
sorry
...
i fell in love
...
cupid
...
love
...
look at me
...
liar
...
stranger...
yours...
always
yours
Stranger

mojo yogurt

pomegranate frozen yogurt topped with mango chunks
a treat on a cold day
followed by the discovery of missing mosaics
then by a naucious train ride with smells of vommit and urine
remember the yogurt
remember the yogurt
remember the yogurt
mmm...indeed
followed by what might be an awkward dinner with a friend
remember the yogurt

...pomegranate-watermelons would be awesome..seedless, of course

electrochic

her words are written in the form of her nemesis...liquid.
gushing, fiercly vomitting into puddles
emerging into charm and wit
innocently walking into the green room
that vividly pierces through her fuccias and blues
obvious to expose her intricately protected circuits
her faith in logic and rationale broken
experience
ex-pe-ri-ence...
ex
pe
ri
ence....
dissipating to a whisper of metal smoke

and THENNNN......

i return
with a mouth full of mountain dew (diet)
and a pink robe wrapped at my skin
that seems to wrap at my brain
soft and easy
swallow my heart
warm and safe
taking my strength
peacefully given


-grapefruit drinks are healthy

facet

sometimes i just feel like being a bitch
cold
aloof
careless
cruel

cutie pie...boston pie

Simply For Research:
The Boston Creme Pie
I was mistaken, is not a pie afterall.
"It is however, one of the most deliciously wonderful, artery clogging, melt in you mouth while distilling pounds of fat into your thighs cakes you'll ever have!"
And after careless experimentation, what "they" said is true...

I'll check in at noon

Mr. Ladies Man where are you?
Joe?
My friendly counter counterculturalist?
Where is that big fucking stick
elagantly coverd in my blood

Yeah that's the one.
.
.
splat, squish, drip
.
.
We might have to call the cops this time
I think we broke it.
Who's blood is this anyway?

head games

the consumption dream:
this one reoccurs always in my parents bedroom at the old house...the first one when i was about 10. laying on the bed. one feather falls out of the ceiling vent as i lookup. Never falling in a larger quantity than one, accumulating to twenty, hundreds, thousands...suddenly consumed by them but swimming in them. Not drowning just being consumed.
Two night ago i had it with Autumn leaves.
Sequence of emotions:
the joy of the single piece, the joy and fear of the abundance, then the beauty of the colors, then the fear of being crushed, devoured. An overwhelming feeling of not being able to be happy or sad about it...tormenting but beautiful. scary but lovely.

ok...maybe i am (going) "unstable"

laughing at myself has become a new passed time.
irrational thoughts... overspoken outbursts.
hyperactive spells of animosity, paranioa, and plain idiodicy
"chilling out" redefined as blank stares.
not being able to say the word c--zy anymore

buying single tickets to concerts.

uneventful event

old...yes.
they played it last monday at their show.
i went alone.
it was fine.
i bought a t-shirt to commemerate my 30.

recycle thoughts

about susana...
cute and super cool and yes, modest

about littly italy
the food sucks but the name of the street rocks....mulberry

about brooklyn
its a great place...you should live there for a year

about "4 adults only"
i dont know what this mean

maybe not the way to do things but it was done...by yours truely.

i'm not (going) crazy

submerged in our new tub by fog water
swearing it doesnt exist as it floats by
wrinkled hands at my crystal eyelashes
tracing the paths to the spout
squinting...straning to see its origins

double sided tape

I am squeezed between two standard walls
with the silver lining at the top almost grey
smitten by the pressure
but mor smitten by the glare

ps. jibber jabber
hitter hatter
bitter batter

sigh

so the deal is to go back home every january and this january we may not go.
miss my family...my "home".
yes i am home with todd in nyc
but still miss the hot summers...the huge highways, the cool air conditioned sheets, and the power outages after hurricanes.

-watermelon is healthy