cutting back on...

...bad stuff
So the holidays are over and the few pounds did creep thier way into my jeans. Not to fret, I have things under control. :)
As I get older my intolerance towards the "unhealthy" grows. I'm not sure if this is making me more shallow...Recently, more and more, I am disgusted to see someone have a total disregard to their health and composure.
I am definately not a perfect picture of health, so I have no jurisdiction to draw conclusions about ones choices, and there are better things i could judge a person on...character, honesty, intellegence, etc.
THere is no real point, except that im gonna try to be a fucking rockstar in all senses...

tomorrow i will probably delete this, realizing its not productive.

desire

when technology and society has stuffed our pockets with the tools to sabatoge our well being. :) the beauty of human character

bittersweet melodies

a breath, a sigh
a sullen fall to the couch behind me
reliving the touch, the smell, the feel
eyes fluttering to the distant thought
a gaze, almost soothing

feeling the needles at my back
pulling me through
relentlessly keeping me from my calm

replay

you!

not you! don't be so presumptuous!
YOU there..yes YOU!
this is mine...

ha!
i was about to rant when a distressed friend calls from a coffee shop that only takes cash. As i save her, she saves me.

cheers to ppl who dont believe in credit!

boiling

A hexagonal pattern emerges in water when heat is added to it in a uniform manner.
This pattern will persist indefinately if it remains a closed system.
BUT as an open system the uniformity will be disturbed by an imperfection in the plate, inpurities, or heat differentiations.
The order [at our visual scale] bursts into the familiar beginning of a roaring boil.
The threshold is acute but relevant to the beginning of its dissipative phase...magically floating away into a mist.

complexity over simplified...i'm tired.

render me new

A brisk twenty minute walk with cheeks warmed by the sunshine.

Where did I go?
Where did I go?
Where did I go?

practice round

the empty barrel didn't satisfy
the paper boy didn't budge
it mocks, my shoulders pulled back
and the breath at lips agasp

the artificial breeze sways him
to the rhythm of a dry swallow
he smirks passed the yellow gaze
even passed the brown eyes, to the new

preparations were made for this
but yet it surprises every time
the pendelum that drops to the tangent of empty
it surprises me everytime

care bear

In giving friends advice we learn things about ourselves.
I don't give advice much, but when i do, its only because I can feel the anger, confusion or hurt they feel. like looking in a mirror of experience. Hence, i RARELY give advice.

but i did and i can breathe easy with her
knowing that with the begining of her closure came the final steps in mine

happily, a deep breath

back-to-work pleasa-pastries

The turnover..
really easy to make.
fun sticky flaky mess when eaten.

enjoy with moderation

what now?

exactly.
what now?

home catalogue image 002

sheer curtain: came with apartment
cat: The Brain, adopted 6 years ago from HSPCA
pillow: gift from Delkash on year ago, I need to call her.
virgin mary candle: going away gift from cookie and chad in 2006

with this debut, came ours

happy new year to my coolest cat

new year project!

it is true..
i have hit a point where i feel like bursting.
too much...stuff has become overwhlemingly MUCH.
so instead of instantaneous combustion.(which i can do, but i choose not to)
i am creating catalogues.
after the new blog. the word catalogue kept knawing at me.


HOME CATALOGUE IMAGE 001


the glass: acquired after working at pappas seafood house, dirty after last nights micholada night!
the french press: acquired while working at the Houstonian Hotel, dirty from this morning.
Yoda: from McDonalds, looking at me telling me i have to do dishes...that crazy yoda

title: under debate

so...
look up to see her, like she told me to
the draw/erase board clean except for:
1.(a blank)
2. (a blank)
3. .....
10.(a blank)

SO!
my fingers cringe at the marker
the weight of decision
1...1...1...1...

sounds fall away to that silky curtain
smells sink passed those landfilled rainbows
visions curling with my toes, dissappearing under me
feeling the epipheny of self loathing rise

-watermelon is super tasty outside

Visual Currency Introduction

i can repeat the same song for hours...happily
the same CD... same youtube video. same movie. same anything.

easily amused? indeed.

enjoy...

pump it, roll it, let me hear you burn it

who was i kidding?
pfft!

lets go over this again

actually let's not

the iterations are bland and cliched to the point of exhaustion.

pointless entry 003

date..26th
time..09:32
black tights..number 6
book: 1000 years of non linear history
blog ID...652997714146674

I recall in Abstract Algebra:
numbers are a part of a field of the nothing my professor said
1 does not equal 1, but it equals zero..somethign about limitis and zeros
i dont remember..its in my notes somehere

all i remember:
new sequences of mathmatical symbols to prove it, and having a fraction of second of clarity. followed by another fraction of confusion...then another of frustration...then another of determination...then another of anger...then again...determination...there over and over and over...a whole semester.

numbers...a field of the nothing

snap... without the exclamation

well the main ingredient being
dark mollasses...and of course
ginger, cinammon and clove.

kneed it, rest it, cut it, gone

special occasions

the thing is that becuase its christmas
I should write about something
"christmassy?
which is:
not what its like
not what it is
not what it feels like
IT IS a morning
and a day
then a night
same as the day before
and still the day after.

:)))

Noone is cooler than him
nothing fresher
nothing sweeter
nothing more mine, than him
my mr.mine

i said I DO for a reason
millions of them..
ok, thousands

-watermelon tastes better off his lips

euphonic defintions render mariposa

we collide into a curtain sanctum
where worm holes are beautiful
and our mouths humidity soothing

the weakness crumbling up inside
rising and roaring to the thumping
to strangers' shoulders and hips

the soft recesses glowing
enhancing the folds of velvet
that sink at 3 frames per year

a season that statued you
the next that offered you
recently exposing you

red phosphorus

its one of the ingredients in the crystal meth cocktail.
and it was our daily toke...breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

my sweet smile as he ducks under the fence into the mud
my black jeans kneed to the earth, following his
the patchy greens emerging to conrete pounded dirt
crouching up with our gaze of purity and delight
mouthing the words i love you
his fingers silently curl to mine, guiding me
hugging walls and sleeping guards

is that it? exposed? unlocked?
it's red.
scitter...SCATTER...SCORE!

fuck you! tantrum

ah here it is...
typical who gives a shit rant!
do you?
i don't
surprised?
ur not
i'm not either

recal the first?
the second?
now the third?
you can't
i can't either

shifts in her seat
the uncomfort of forgetting so quickly
the dissappointmet of it all

kneels to the floor, head dropped,
picking at the bloody splinters
looking at his young face
her imaginary friend
welted eyes

bugga'

An interesting experience (on my part only, im sure) invloving a train, a big guy, and a stranger:
Big Guy wanted to sit but the empty seat between me and Stranger was too narrow. so i scooted my ass a bit off the seat and Stranger pressed himself the opposite direction... No eye contact was made, ever, even as the Big Guy kinda mumbled a thanks as he sat. I made no eye contact when i nodded the "no problem".
I was dissapointed in myself: i didnt look at him in the eye with a smile, making at least the smallest effort to show i am in good cheer, to share it.
Looking over, Big Guy had the fullest curliest gray hair. Holding a cup of coffee; his nails were nicely manicured...Didnt fit Big Guy really.
My stop. I smiled when i said excuse me.
He spills a drop of coffee on my shoe...BUGGA! sorry.
I smile...eye contact..a "no problem" nod.

winter harem

time folds ten-fold here
flavors of the week,
last 2, but not 3
thigh highs never fall
and hair never grows,
its attached.
i like it

-watermelons taste better and they glow

candy man paul

I have a friend who makes chocolate.
buy it!
http://www.chocolatsmeurens.com/
I've had a sample of most...the limoncello and pistachio chocolate made me squirm. :)

between 2 notes

strings curling at my biting teeth
as splinters pierce my gripping nails
perfectly displayed in guilt for you
your strumming burning my veins

relieve me... addict me
throw it out...that violin

red rover red rover

mirame bien

species

you'd think the girls would stick
but then
your Thai Beef Salad comes with no rice
so What The Fuck Do I Do Now NOW?
...
girls are flaky....

stranger

as if you had no choice?
deny those feelings?!?!
those feelings that make you feel proud of me
miss ur train....no?
a minute
...
sorry
...
i fell in love
...
cupid
...
love
...
look at me
...
liar
...
stranger...
yours...
always
yours
Stranger