Cheers to perfect sundays.

her eyes teared when the words left her lips
And it was the first time i felt like killing a man i never knew. That i felt like cracking his head open with the butt of my rifle. the need to truely watch him bleed, motionless.
We sipped our beers in the heat, under slow spinning fans, and the sweat from our legs made us "stick". It was the first time we held hands under a table, silently, almost secretly.
I'm always the last to know how much someone means to me, moreso, what i mean to them.

Sexy...

If I say so myself... Designed by yours truly :)

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

untitled

it snuggles up next to me like a dear friend

comforting me as my stomache turns

a tumbling ball of unkept promises

i can hear the zipper at the rim

its chance to wake my living dream

8 & 10

the question that circulated the room made its way to me "how happy are you, scale 1 to 10.. now and in general?" It was a wonderful question.
A handsome NY orcehstra flutest in an untied bowtie stood next to me, the man from Peru that molded the sterling silver flute stood on my other side and a Spanish trombone player named Katerina stood in front of me. Across the room was a ballet dancer who stood with a painter. And then i realized that I was the architet who was married to the wine connoissieur, who was flirting with the restaurant owner outside.
I would have answered the same if not in the same company, but it was a bit surreal nonetheless to be surrounded by such talent and beauty and love.

High Residence Co-op

The chicken have their home. :)

Daytrip Getaway #1

My friends and I have vowed to take at least one city escape a month.. at least.

 

Rules of engagements are:

smoke alot of pot

hold hands on a stroll with each of one of our friends

eat like children

bring a buddy (if our other halfs cant make it)

 

i think we'll add more "rules" as we go.

Storm King Art Center : Please note that no video or pictures do this place justice as you can't get the whole thing into one photograph... its huge! and absolutely wonderful.

false transactions

hold your head high
truth wont set you free
bring your words forth
jump the plank you want to fall off
cut the wrist you dream of,
slash the throat you speak of
it's all the same to false ones

The Kontraptionist

The Kontraptionist, who is milling the high end residential chicken co-op mentioned our "sweet" chicken coop on his blog. The chickens will finally have a home on Monday! :)

green and good

Teamlove Green Summer Initiative:
1. Furniture: used or self-built only
2. Clothes: Purchased and waiting for the delivery of WonderWash and dryer
3. Juice More (we have the counter space again!)
4. Ride bike to work (no-rain permitting)
5. Grow our own herbs again (so kitchy ;)
6. Continue to wear (mostly) cotton clothing only
7. Eat more watermelon ;)

I feel good about decisions that seem to be rooting us to brooklyn more and more.

hehehe.. happy monday!

such a great moment in the movie.

shiny sounds

my grin spreads to my ears as the crack at the bench begins to hand me the key to his heart. I snatch it, carressing the splinters it once touched. my fingers stroke, molding its perfecet shape to lay my ear on. my body bends to it.. what a perfect sound, my lover.

homesick.

i stood there with mudded legs, matted wet hair and part of my pink and white dress clentched into a fist. The blood was showing through my small hands as he yanked my secret free.
my toes curled the water gathered in my jellies. and the red carpet absorbed my drips softly. I could feel me mothers warmth against my fathers scorn, and my brothers fingers curling into one of mine. my breath kept me statued and my chewing lips kept me from crying as i felt the sting at my stomach.

i miss the fence that cut my belly that rainy day. and the ache it brought me.

the monster: that of procrastination.

to begin to stop something.
to stop something to begin something else.
to begin to begin, but never actually starting.
it can be never-ending, never starting.

i noticed...

a few things today:
1. the cloudy day made everyone at the coffee house sleepy (after small talk with my barista guy and ms.jenny next to me)...which brings me to the next one...
2. I truely do enjoy meeting strangers (i have been warned about the dangers of this)
3. biking in nyc is exhilerating (i am addicted)
4. and finally... people always seem to be "camping" at the G train (lovely couples tonight).

good night. :)

dear brother

an old one
a new one
and the one that lived years ago.

I recall when my parents were younger. I liked them that way. Strong. Healthy. Willed.
our flaws held no reprucussions and duties were far between.
but as change prevails with time, unwanted truths are sure to follow

i wish that werent our reality.

well-deserved reviews :)

previously I posted about a short film called "Unlocked" by Daryl Wein. NOW he stars in the new film BREAKING UPWARDS and its getting great reviews! it's opening up this weekend.. so if your city has it avaialble. go see it! im sure it'll be great!

and note that that the star of his film Unlocked, Olivia Thirlby, also appears in this film.. yay! :)

Twisted, bright, and full of joy

Snippet thoughts

The crowd is good and happy
My lips are wording the phrase
"You found it"
"You found it, there"
And my smile into memories warms their presence before me.
Love
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

facts

easy breezy.
I dont get angry often. I pout sometimes and throw tantrums when i dont get my way. i usually do. BUT sometimes it seems the universe tests me. And I am a true believer that i have control of my surroundings. So there must be a negative energy I am giving off, because I sincerely have had a horrible week and a half.
So breathe with me and remember.

susy fact #1: bad days always remind me of a book i read in gradeschool: Alexander and The Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

back to complex numbers

unpacking i rediscovered my abstract algebra textbook. Funny thing, it doesnt sound diffcult, "abstract algebra", but its not for the light-minded either.
So I began reading it, unlike I had during my math degree..which was in a hurry, fully-frustrated, exhausted, and almost angry state of mind.
Makes me feel smart and stupid at the same time.
i used to think that contradicting emotions were unhealthy, now i think that some subject matters demand it for the sake of appreciation.

spring showers in BK

my heart beats slower under water, there is no such thing as quick bath, and having one in the kitchen is highly recommended.

i miss the kitchen tub.

endearing choke

at approximately 8:07am the wind blew my scarf, I pulled it lightly to distress instant suffocation. yank, adjust, pull... pull.. yank!..a twist of my head. my hair tangled in my coats collar. a mess of fabrics. Intentions to remain calm psychotically bullied into a short-breathed frenzy.
i gasped for air as i look up at the ornate building facades, my black umbrella on the ground, the scarf wrapped tight at my fist. i cursed the skies at center sidewalk. and for only a moment i wished id pulled the scarf the other way... done.. done DONE!
bumped, to regain my breath.
and one footstep returned me to my equilibrium.

non-threat-existence

There's a glare that is pronounced at moments when i enjoy the sun. Looking away for a moment helps... but sometimes a tip of the head, a fall of some hair, fractures the suns gleam enough to keep my eyes steady and ahead.

and there...

there...

hold that spectrum still... take me into that place where my skin melts and my therapy exceeds the hour. simply takes my gravity. steals my soul and blinds my daily woes.

everything... everything exists there and forever will... my colorful spectrum.

thievery

my toe pricks the puddle that stands so still

a subtle touch, a ripple in macrodimension 

a single sway of thigh, a thunderous wave

our floor unsettled, it shifts with beauty

unbalanced, my toes grip the stone

feel the thoughts that flutter by me

familiar, they calm my body

carress my cheek, heat my bones

...

,,,

hyper stylized

entertain me

i can shuffle my coins to tease  you

lick at my lips and uncross my legs

be  your hard core groupie

be your blow addict skank

so entertain me

let me exceed my potential

fun!

Rendering real-life architecture was nice for a bit, but playing with pretty shapes and stuff that will never exist is fun too.

rain me ...

into a puddle with you
let the drops form your hands
and the cold hold me still

pour me into your drowning terms
into the mud that forms below me
statued forever into earth
your silk my eternal day

Fresh Start Day

Jealousy and insecurities have never been a large part of my being. I would lieing to say I never felt them, but last night was something different. A monster surfaced and took no prisoners. and needless to say, humility followed thereafter and this morning. It's a sickening feeling. A wad at the pit of my stomach feels like rising to hurl of self disgust.

and so today has been claimed "Fresh Start".
So let us start anew. Let me start my truth again.

lost without...

...returning with creations of my own... soon.

a decision

...has been made

This will be the last post.
It has been a great pleasure sharing with you all.
Susandia has been my unconditional companion and has relatively kept me sane, if not made me crazier at times, but all is interchangeable in these terms.



I miss her already...